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Dating Principles
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I am just sitting here in my cube at the Endtime Headquarters preparing for EYC Radio Live (4:30pm CST..haha..quick plug for the show) anywho... I am sitting here and just got off the phone with a person that is a young married and I was asked a question about a friend of mine and it sparked my desire to tell everyone about my personal dating principles. Obviously, everyone wont agree with my listing, but I feel from my studies over the years of marriages and relationships and just being observant, that my personal dating principles can probably be corrected in certain areas, but they still hold a good formula for a healthy, morally correct relationship. I will not cover all of my dating principles, but a number of them.
Here we go!!
I would first like you to imagine with me walking through your local park, city, or mall, and as we tend to do now days, rushing to get to the next thing that we are doing. When suddenly, as you are walking quickly through the crowd, there is an elderly couple holding hands and walking slowly and blocking the way for you to get away from the crowd. This couple is having the time of there life!! Why? Because they are together. They sit down on the bench and the old man helps the woman adjust her coat so it is comfy while they rest and the woman licks her thumb and wipes off the smudge on the mans face from lunch. And they sit on the bench holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes acting more in-love than they were on there wedding day. Why is this? How is this possible? They have been married for 40 years, surely they're sick of each by now... I believe it starts with being morally correct in the beginning of there relationship and throughout there time of dating.
Typically, when you find a couple that goes too far and ends up getting married simply because a baby is on the way, you find a couple that is very unhappy. But the couple that WILL NOT allow themselves to fall to the lust of the flesh ends up being happy. (Obviously this is not always the case, but generally the chances of having a happy and healthy relationship go up when you choose to hold off on sexual pleasures until you're married.)
So what do you have to do in the beginning to make the correct decisions morally? You MUST MUST MUST know where you stand and commit to someone that you will hold your ground! Find a person that will hold you accountable. And more importantly compare what you stand for with the Bible and make sure you line up with God's Word.
So now I am really going to tell you what I tell a girl when the time is right!!haha (took me long enough)
REMEMBER!! This is only when the time is right. Don't just spring your stance on someone out of the blue. They may not be ready to talk about this and you WILL scare them off. lol. (I may have done it a time a two... but I wont say one way or the other..hahaha)
Principle #1: When the wheels of the car stop rolling...get out.
This does not mean at a stop sign (yes the wheels are supposed to stop at a stop sign..lol) or at a red light. When you take her home or when he takes you home, don't stay in the car because if you really want to do the right thing thats not a way to start. Something will eventually happen. it may not be on the first time or the 23rd, but one day it will.
Principle #2: I will not hold your hand until I am committed to you, mentally and in life. Yea yea yea...laugh it up, make fun..lol.. But I cant allow myself to take that step, because whether you are man or woman enough to admit it yet, it does do something inside. It creates feelings and will eventually lead to the next step, which is kissing. So that leads to Rule #3..
Principle #3: I WILL NOT kiss you until I consider you "wife material" and until I am committed to you fully.
Now you are probably really laughing it up... But again, this will lead to the next step. And don't go and try to say that you wont allow it to go further.... WAKE UP!! Everyone around you has told you that you cant stop it. Once you kiss and do it regularly it WILL lead to making out, and then making out will lead to heavy petting, and the process will go as far as it may. You are not the master yoda of sexual pleasures. Once you go down that road it wont please your personal desires and you will look back on how you used to get nervous when your hands accidently touched each other and think how in the world did I get this far. It's because you didn't stop the thing when it was small. Song of Solomon 2:15 Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes. David also speaks of little lions destroying the land. David and Solomon understood that if they didn't end something when it was small it would grow to be big. It is the same way with sexual pleasure, cut em off in the beginning and you will profit from it in the long run...
Principle #4: I will not be alone with you in a house, or an isolated room.
I don't care how many principles I have to not do this or that, I do not trust my flesh and I want to keep it in check!! One way to not allow sexual things to happen is to not allow yourself to be alone with that girl or guy.
So these are just a few principles I hold close to me and I can not budge on them because I believe it can cause me to fall. I have had relationships where I did not have these principles established and I made mistakes. I don't want to go back there. I want a wholesome relationship that is acceptable in the eyes of God.
So I hope this can be a blessing to someone!! Feel free to comment below...
God Bless yall
~Vince
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5 Comments
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anonymous
12:46 PM on December 09, 2008
it wont let me fix the font in that paragraph... sorry
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C. Watts
08:28 PM on December 13, 2008
Wow! You certainly have strong convictions about this matter- a rarity in today's society. What a blessing it is to know others believe the same things, no matter what the world says- God remains the same! Thank you for your encouraging word. One thought though- I personally have made the committment of no kissing until the wedding. I believe that when the minister says, "You may now kiss the bride," that means no kissing should have taken place prior to that "now" moment. Just a thought.
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anonymous
10:24 AM on December 16, 2008
Hey C. Watts,
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<br>Thank you for the encouragement!!
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<br>I don't have a problem at all with not kissing until the wedding day. I just personally feel like a good-bye or hello kiss is totally fine. Now if this kiss last 10 minutes and turns into making out... def wrong... And a lot of people could turn my words around and say "I CONSIDER THEM WIFE MATERIAL". Dont be stupid, if yo are 14 you should not be doing any of that and you are def not capable of having anyone that is wife material.
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<br>Anyways.. thanks for the comment! God Bless
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swdex tqou
07:21 AM on March 21, 2009
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retro guest
05:05 PM on May 05, 2009
05 - 05 - 09 marriage is not a legal right ::: just because you are married you still do not have any legal right to do any of these things ::: marriage is a lying institutional occult of the law ::: it is a form of slavery and a form of property ownership and i dont believe in it ::: in saudi arabia the law says that you can get married and do all of the things of marriage at 1 years old saudi arabian law has NO minimum age the point is that there is no for real true legal right at any age it dont matter if you are 120 years old so i dont believe in it